Thread: Dear Diary.
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Old 09-01-2017, 08:45 PM
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Plague Kitty Plague Kitty is offline
Zombie Kitty
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Where I go hauntingly, within the depths of a darkened forest
Posts: 9,667

Dear diary,

Can they stop watching my face and assuming I'm mad or annoyed? Can they trust that if I want their help, I'll go to them and ask for advice on how to deal with it if I can't figure it out. Can they just please trust that if I get depressed for one day (or two or the entire week), I'll rise up out of the rubble and bounce back, ready to enjoy the day smile, feel great and just relax.

And it is true what you said
That I live like a hermit in my own head
But when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in

-Death Cab For Cutie "Marching Band Of Manhattan"

Just fucking trust in me. Trust that I'll get back up, take care of myself (after all, I know what makes me truly happy!) and if I need their help in figuring something out, I'll ask for it! Give me whatever amount on a monthly basis so that I can spend some money for myself online. Just give me something to work with! After all, I pay my share of the rent, I pay for groceries (my sis puts in her share sometimes), I buy things I need (shaving razors, shaving cream, body wash, shampoo/conditioner, feminine stuff, the works!).

Dear diary,

I want to slap my sister. I want to slap this thing inside of her that has some kind of grudge against me. I want to slap it out of her and tell her to knock it off because I have HAD ENOUGH THIS ENTIRE YEAR LET ALONE THESE PAST 2 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Is in the midst of tears again* She should be happy, relieved and thankful everyday that I'm even here at all and that she has a sister because when I was going through the trauma (after the eviction), I wanted to kill myself. Obviously, I don't feel that way anymore and I'm much more better now but at that time, I considered it an option.
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