View Single Post
Old 01-04-2018, 07:55 AM
Plague Kitty's Avatar
Plague Kitty Plague Kitty is offline
Zombie Kitty
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 9,665

As of now, I am DONEcrying and feeling depressed. I didn't do anything wrong. If they both want to live in problems, let them fucking do just that but count me out! I just spent a fucking year depressed and not to mention completely traumatized (and suicidal) for months (Early February until late April)! I don't know where this strength is coming from but I am thankful for it! I suppose it's coming from last year and how I spent it in misery and trauma. That part that is just fed up with crying and carrying unnecessary guilt! I don't know, I just don't want to start out the new year like this. It's the first fucking week for fuck's sake and already! Already, they're fucking trying to start shit with me. I'm telling you, I was sitting on my bed, having a lovely time watching Lost Girl and thinking about good stuff. And the next thing you know, I'm crying and blasting Autumn's Grey Solace' "The Cell" followed by The Cure's "All Cats Are Grey". Like what the fuck?! Well, no more!

I wanna change this year, I really do!

I am not going to fucking ask my sis for forgiveness. Fuck that shit! She's been stealing money from me for yeaaaars! She hasn't really given me a reason to be trustful of her. Otherwise, why would my mom even be asking about the money in the first fucking place? I'm actually going to tell my mom this later on today. As for asking my mom for permission to buy anything (even fucking toilet paper!), I suppose I have to do it. I don't know why she's having ME (of all people! I rarely fucking go out! And if I do go out, it's because I'm out of necessary things)do this After all, it was my sister that decided to take 2 month's worth of rent money to do God knows what with it (this is why we were evicted from the apartment). I'm also going to tell her this! I mean, I guess she wants to know where the money is going since it was out of her hands last year (when we got evicted). I guess I can't be TOO mad at her. She just wants to take some bit of control back and this is her way of doing that. I honestly can not blame her for that.

But whatever, never mind all that. All I know right now is that I don't want to be depressed for at least a really long while. I also confess that I want to buy at least 1 item a month at Jack Off Jill's store! Fuck, that reminds me! I still have to ask her if lapel pins and tote bags are alright to purchase.

Edit: Although I understand why my mom is worried about where the money is going (what I buy and how I have to ask for permission for anything that I buy even if it's fucking toilet paper -.-), I think she ruined online shopping for me now. I kind of don't want to buy anything anymore and I kind of don't want to go out anymore.

Last edited by Plague Kitty; 01-04-2018 at 08:14 AM.
Reply With Quote