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  #7366  
Old 09-27-2017, 03:18 PM
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I'm seriously in love with this month's purchases! I can't wait for them to arrive and I can't wait for the things I'm going to buy next week!

Edit: I confess that I felt really jealous of my cousin's daughter yesterday. All friggin' day! She kept talking about her friends and the experiences she had with them. She was able to go places by herself. Like she just got out of the car and walked over to the store and to the bank (she's not crippled by anxiety like I fucking am). She just has a bunch of friends and she can not fucking shut the fuck up about it! You seriously can't bring up anything without her mentioning her friends! I felt like she was stabbing me in the chest and it hurt like hell. I don't know, it just felt like someone was breaking up with me I guess I felt crushed *shrugs*
I
However! During the car ride home and away from her, I felt grateful and was reminded of the beautiful guest house I reside in! I put up my awesome posters besides my bed and I'm left here alone (for the most part in terms of during the day) all week. I'm finally free, I can dress in whatever manner I'd like! I can listen to music loud, I can watch all the lovely lesbian content I want! I can watch whatever I want on TV (I mostly start watching when the sun goes down).

But then *laughs in frustration* my sister opened the door to my house while she called out "Honey, I'm hoooooome!". She was pretending to be me and obviously, no one was in the house. Then I got sad again because I have no one to come home to and I have no girlfriend I got over it though. I just needed to uhm sleep it off.
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Last edited by Plague Kitty; 09-27-2017 at 04:52 PM.
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  #7367  
Old 09-28-2017, 10:52 PM
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although there's not much activity around here anymore I feel bad for not signing on for like...10 days I think it's been o.o woah
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  #7368  
Old 10-15-2017, 05:50 AM
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I listen to songs added to my Bandcamp wishlist so damn much (throughout the day and for a full week sometimes) that I almost expect a message to pop up that reads "OH, JUST BUY IT ALREADY!!!"
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  #7369  
Old 10-16-2017, 02:23 AM
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I get easily paranoid and freaked out at night but it's my own fault most of the time xD
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  #7370  
Old 10-20-2017, 09:27 PM
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I'm in love with Halloween or I guess I could just say obsessed
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  #7371  
Old 10-26-2017, 04:05 PM
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I love not having a job because of all the free time I'm getting, but I also hate it because, aside from lack of money, I feel like I'm wasting my time being lazy and unproductive, even after doing chores all day. I miss working. DX
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  #7372  
Old 10-27-2017, 02:50 AM
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I was right about wanting to avoid games awhile back in fear I'd get addicted but I'm glad it's happened
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  #7373  
Old 10-31-2017, 05:56 AM
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I kind of forgot about this forum for a little while But I'm back!
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  #7374  
Old 11-01-2017, 01:13 AM
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^ How dare you! welcome back! Not the same without you

I am admitting that I feel like refusing Halloween to be over with. It just came and went so fast, like most days
It is still Halloween in other time zones damnit!! And besides, everyday is Halloween!
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Old 11-04-2017, 09:02 AM
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At first, I thought it was me that over-hyped the whole "Omfg, it's Halloween and I'm gonna have a lovely night and nothing can ruin it!" for the entire year. But now, I think it was just the worst timing of the Dodgers World Series game. I'm not too much into baseball so I don't know if it's always been held during the month of October but...it's just the worst timing. Halloween and Baseball?!? Uhm, what the fuck?!?

I'm grateful and I appreciate that my sis included me at all but I really wish she hadn't! I would have honestly preferred to just stay the fuck home. My cousin mistook me for a "dead waitress" when I was CLEARLY dressed as a Gothic version of Alice: Madness Returns. That kind of annoyed me but whatever. However, they said my outfit was cute and I got a really good laugh at my cousin's daughter's comment. "Are you a Goth?" It's funny that she noticed it on Halloween but never on a normal day
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  #7376  
Old 11-16-2017, 10:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimera Doll View Post
^ How dare you! welcome back! Not the same without you
I'm sorry! D: Anyway, d'awwww, thanks dolly!

I confess that it's been a while since I was able to talk to a woman like this. A really long while! It's fun, it's new, it's sexy, it's freeing!:D I know I sometimes think about (in my head, anyway, I don't think I've expressed it here? :O) wanting a girlfriend. How I look at the empty spot on my Queen-sized bed and imagine someone laying there, with their arms wrapped around me and stroking my hair and arms. How sometimes I look at the pillow besides me, caress it and then close my eyes while listening to whatever I'm into that week and the sadness and longings all stop and are silenced.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut! Sometimes, when I don't want anything serious (like tonight and how I'm able to escape those torturous thoughts/aches/longings for a night), I just wanna lose control and have fun! And I found that with Claire I met her on DeviantArt. As long as we both understand that this is a "No-Strings-Attached" thing then we're gooooood! We can talk about things but also have fun on the side. I don't wanna say we're friends with benefits because I just fucking met her last week

Ooo! I have a stupid joke! :D DeviantArt! The new Tinder for lesbians! **
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Old 11-17-2017, 02:33 AM
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I've been slacking more lately D:
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Old 11-23-2017, 08:58 PM
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There's something refreshing and really nice about using new stuff (new shampoo/conditioner fragrance, new hairbrush, new shaving razorblades and shaving cream). I don't know, there's something really nice about that.

Also, I confess that I was seriously down for recording my voice, thanking Erin for making me go to that one place to make sure I'm healthy. I was like "Yes! I'm not just gonna type it. I'm gonna personally tell her!" but now? I'm not fucking doing it I don't wanna do it. I don't know, it's not worth it to go through all the process (emailing the recording to myself and then getting on the laptop to send it to her in messages) for just one or 2 quick sentences that I'm gonna record *shrugs* I apologized for the times I overshared and probably made her uncomfortable and weirded the fuck out (I'm sure I have!). My mind is now clean and I'm ready to just move on. Also, I'm like soooooo done messaging Erin and Scott. I feel like I've been messaging them all fucking year long. Plus, I don't think I'm ever getting that box from Scott and I'll never know what the flying fuuuuuuuuuuck is in that shit. So, I'm probably going to ask him sometime next year (probably in June because I don't wanna message him again so soon) to give me back the money I paid for it.

Sorry, I'm just really frustrated. I thought I was patient but I'm done going crazy. I'm done trying to guess what the fuck is in it because he's clearly not going to tell me and even then, he forgot what's in it (but yet, he knows there's rare stuff-weiiiiiird if you ask me). He probably got off on scaring me (because of that Chucky thing) until I told him I was losing sleep over it and then he told me he was joking. UGH!!!!!!!!! He is driving me insaaaaaaaaaaaaaane because of that stupid "surprise". Why the fuck did he have to tell me that? Why the fuck did he tell me there was rare stuff in there? Rare things are like my ultimate weaknesses! I mean, hello! *gestures to all my "Rare and Unreleased" albums i have from every single band I love* He told to please wait but I'm done waiting. I am giving up and I honestly don't want the box anymore And if he sends it within 3 months or whatever, I'm probably just gonna let it sit under my bed or somewhere else I can't see it. Not even going to open it for a really long while (3 months ago, I would have teared it apart at first glance) I'm so sorry Scott but I am giving up. I'm done wondering and waiting. It's been almost an entire year of that and I can't do it. I can't wait anymore x.x I am at my wit's end. He's fucking torturing me (like a vampire bat-The Cure song ) but no more! I hope *gulps* Gods and goddesses, give me the strength! If he hadn't mentioned "surprise" and "rare stuff", I would not be typing all this. I wouldn't even care about it. I wouldn't go crazy. Wait, unless he wanted me to go crazy and to care? :O No. I don't think that's it. He probably wanted to torture me. Yes, that has to be it!!!

Edit: I'm not entirely done with the band. I'll react to Erin's photos (I'll only comment if I like her dress or whatever the fuck) and news of an upcoming Autumn's Grey Solace album. But as for messaging? Fuck no, I'm done! Also, I'm taking an extended break from listening to their albums. I'm starting to get tired of their music (been listening to them non-stop this entire year-due to the trauma and how I desperately needed their music). I think I'll listen to their music again when there's a new album. So, I guess this is goodbye for now Scott and Erin. Maybe I'll find a renewed (and fresh!) love for you when there's a new album next year. Meanwhile, I'm going to other bands. It's honestly breaking my heart departing from their music (as for messaging, I am more than happy to leave!) because they've helped me through really fucked up days and nights but I have do this right fucking now! Otherwise, I'm going to get so tired of their music, I'll probably let 2 or 3 albums pass by until I finally listen to their stuff again.

As my FB profile pic (also my avatar on here), I'll probably leave it up. Yeah, Scott made it for me but they're too pretty to just discard. Plus, he said he tried to include the colors I requested so obviously some effort went into it. I'll never know why he chose to make me flowers (yeah, I wear flower hairclips every time I go out and in my pics but no way he knows that because I don't think he sees my posts-which I am honestly grateful for! I know for sure Erin can see my posts but I try not to think about it too much!!) instead of swirly mists and a bunch of stars (like I was expecting so seeing the flowers...well...surprised me. Goddamn he's good at surprises. Makes me wonder what's in the box. Oh wait, that's right. I don't fucking care anymore! I hope I'll continue not to care because "wondering what's in the box" just lures me and traps me right back where I started! x.x). I guess I won't completely forget about him because I actually look at the pic quiiiiite a lot *sighs in fucking frustration* WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO GODDAMN PRETTY! *screams!* I wish they were real so I could throw them across the room or something! Stupid box and stupid rare stuff and stupid surprise! Stupid Scott Ferrell. God, I'm so mad at him!
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Last edited by Plague Kitty; 11-23-2017 at 10:01 PM.
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