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Artist's Corner Share your artwork, poetry or anything artistic. |
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#1
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I agree with Hell's Angi.
This one was written during my downward spiral (hence the emo-ness of it all). I had just gone through a messy breakup, and found a new love: hard drugs. My job wasn't going so well either, due to hungover sick-calls. Kind of cliche. I've spent these years sculpting this ambitious being Perfection felt close, but was far from achieved Like a child unhanded in a museum of glass Performing obnoxious, destructive acts It took one for all to fall. Glad I got out of that one! |
#2
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I really like yours :D
Here's one of mine, or actually the only real poem I ever wrote. I usually write other stuff. As you can easily tell the main topic in this is leaving, but it got a new meaning for me about 6 months or a year after it was written, when someone I knew died and i suddenly got this totally new impression of the poem. it's pretty dilettante lol Farewell I'd rather be leaving thee easily Without a word to be heard won't get hurt But for all those who once chose to get close One simple spell I will tell called 'farewell'
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No more girl next door, actions with no remorse. ~ Ayria ^ Part of the zero bullshit tolerance policy. |
#3
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My first post on the forum, so lets hope that everything just works out fine.
I really like both your poems. It's hard to make poems that sound so close to what you feel. I'm writing poetry for about 2 years now, but most of the poems are Dutch. I've writen some small poems in English. The poem is called "though wanderers eyes" and is divided in 4 smaller parts Through Wanderers Eyes The Night The sun has left and the night has awaken Guarding an abandoned child in the dark A child with a message by his mother forsaken And neither was there place for him at the ark The darkest nights are yet to come As the clouds cover the entire sky The rain will fall which he can’t hide from He wonders: will my soaked soul ever dry? As he’s looking through the wanderers eye The Moon The pearl of the night, a silent witness Of the world beyond imagination Illuming those in the blackest dress Trying to avoid permanent desolation Coming together as the ritual starts Bringing chaos and devastation Aiming for those with weaker hearts With a magic spell fulfilling their creation The Sea As my tears falling left a stain Overwhelmed by an tidal wave Flushed my emotions down the drain Set course to their own grave Diluted, my soul will no longer be Rejected by emotions undetected As I look in the water, as emptiness I see Cause my soul is no longer reflected The Winter Stuck in the desert of ice and snow No one directing me where to go My vessels run cold and I cannot speak But I still haven’t found for what I seek Winter night, Show me your might I won’t pass out in search of the light I’ll fight cause I refuse to run and hide I’m stuck in this endless, winter night I don't know if you like it, but I;m happy with the result |
#4
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That's cool that you can write in more than one language. I wish I could do that, as there's been times I wish I could sing a song in german or japanese or spanish. Anyway- I do a lot of song writing and this is one of my favorites.
Crescent Waltz It should be me… It should be me… Drained of plasma I drift eternal… Alone I spin among starry nights… Discontent in my isolation, In envy of the sphere you serve. It should be me… It should be me… Why do you lead this waltz? It should be me… It should be me… Drained of solace I turn in silence… I’ve composed a waltz for you, To share with you my agony… For you to know the price I pay To live beneath your gravity. Through pain and distance, my bitter exchange, I wander lonely while you brim with life… I wander lonely while I am your slave. I cannot look away. I cannot... It should be me… It should be me… Why do you lead, Lead this waltz…? If you'd like to hear the song it is recorded. PM me or respond here and I can show it to you. |
#5
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![]() Wel that isn't so strange for me. Dutch is my own language and English is one of the most important languages in the world so we're taught to learn English on school. Maybe it's nice to post a Dutch poem of me (with an English translation) It doesn't rhyme anymore when translated and there may be some mistakes but here it goes. I'm not certain about the translation of evenbeeld = spitting image Wij Zijn De zon werpt een schaduw over het leven. En niets is, zonder iets te zijn, voor het oog, de zonneschijn een rede het een schaduw te geven Door te zijn heeft alles al invloed. De lucht die je adem vraagt, schaduw, die jouw lichaam draagt, wanneer straten opklaren in ochtendgloed Zoals wij zijn, zijn wij veroordeeld tot acceptatie van ons evenbeeld. Sterfelijke wezens met onsterfelijk verlangen Waarom willen we, wat we nooit kunnen bevangen, En wat we kunnen, door iets anders vervangen? Wij zijn gevleugelde harten, kijkend vol afgunst, maar zeker ook met bewondering voor de kunst, naar een vis die zwemt in het water We are The sun brings a shadow to this life. And nothing is, without being something, for the eye, the sunshine a reason to give it a shadow Just by being, everything will be influenced. the air, which is asking your breath the shadow, who's wearing your body when streets clear up in morninglight Like we are, we are convicted to accept our own spitting image mortal beings, with immortal desire. why do we want what we can't overcome and how can we change what we can in what we want We are like winged hearts, looking jealously but also admiration for the art looking at a fish, swimming in the water
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![]() Last edited by Clear Vision; 08-28-2011 at 01:40 PM. |
#6
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Wow,those lyrics are amazing. I really like them,I kinda feel with the me in them ![]()
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You can hide in the night while I'm waiting here, all alone
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#7
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If anyone is interested in hearing/reading more, I can arrange that. |
#8
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Thank you guys for posting your poetry/lyrics. There are some incredible lines/words you've written there! I especially love lyrics and write some of my own,but they are not nearly as good as these that you have posted.
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#9
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Here's another then.
Spearhead My armor that keeps me In binding and hiding Does not defend from The spearheads I fear As the crystallized spores Of my anger do shatter And scatter to where They shall do the most damage. (Chorus) You prey on esteem That your spearhead so ravaged, To feed your libido So vicious and savage. Sunken and hammered, Your spearhead has spoken, My trust into question My armor’s been broken. A boa that constricts me Made of hair and shards of glass Wraps around my neck, As an emblem of your cruelty The knife of your decision Made of scrap metal and severed tongues Has brought me to this captive state And cuffed these thoughts inside my head. You brought the moles That dig in me That try to steal my buried treasure You filled your filth You spilled your scent In the idol that I’d created. The catacombs murmur... "A life of misdeed Breeds more misdeed." I have... I have scorn you, stupid mole. I have scorn you down to hell. (Chorus) You brought the moles You filled your filth That try to steal my buried treasure. You dug in me You spilled your scent You dirty mole you have destroyed me. --- This song is available for listening on our myspace. myspace.com/miraimusic |
#10
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A really great job you did Mirai87. I really like spearhead, both the song and the lyrics. I don't know if it was the intention but it kind of remembered me of an old school arcade hall with a wack-the-mole game. The game where moles keep popping out of the ground and you have to smash them down. Keep the good work up.
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#11
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I really like that interpretation. I can see what you're saying now that you've put the thought there!
![]() Last edited by MIRAI87; 05-22-2008 at 03:00 PM. |
#12
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Mira,I love your writing style. I'm going to listen to you song right now!
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#13
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Thank you so much for listening. I'm glad you like it! Let me know what you think of the song.
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#14
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I guess I will never be that good in writing poems like a few guys here.English is not my mother tongue so I guess I write mistakes sometimes.Well,here you go :
Little and soft you take so much out of me do you still think I'm tall and strong? Broken pieces can't be fixed immediatly time is what I need when you don't understand you don't understand me the one you want to own I cannot love I cannot hate my nerves are stampeded I don't know who I am, who I want to be My smiles carry hope my hugs show loneliness my tears are precious my thoughts change to suicide My eyes are closed I try to shout I try to cry tell me where is your love for me? Idk why but they always turn out so depressing lol
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You can hide in the night while I'm waiting here, all alone
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#15
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I think it's a great poem xrayqueen.
Firts of all it's a poem, so there aren't any rules you can do what you like and it's never a bad poem and I can see that your poem reflects a part of your soul, so I don't see any point why this poem isn't good.
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