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  #3856  
Old 08-25-2017, 08:58 PM
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Tried to pull an all-nighter but I just couldn't fucking do it x.x Also, my mom came home earlier than I expected and she caught me just waking up at 3pm
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  #3857  
Old 08-25-2017, 09:35 PM
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Only thing that sucked was stomach problemos
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Old 08-26-2017, 02:41 AM
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So, I was waiting for my mom to come home with dinner. I waited a total of 20 minutes and when she didn't come, I threw in a couple of chicken patties into the mini oven. 5 minutes later, my sister fucking enters with dishes of leftovers from the night before and last night (from the restaurant that we went to). While waiting, I was overly aware of how tight my tank top was and my stupid weight, I took it off and threw on a very old and loose t-shirt (that I cut to make into a tank top) and felt so much better. *sighs* I was starting to eat the other chicken patty when this news reporter on the TV warned about being really fat and about sodas. I just spit out what I had in my mouth, threw it away and washed the dishes. Like seriously?!?! The one fucking night that I drink a soda (out of the entire week that I did not drink any!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and this stupid ass fucking shit comes on and ruins it!!!!!!!!! I took a freaking sip. Just one and that shit comes on! Is this a fucking joke on me or something?!?!? I'm amazed I didn't burst into fucking tears!
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  #3859  
Old 08-29-2017, 09:02 PM
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When I stretched this morning, the way everyone does when they wake up, I heard a pop in my knee and it's been hurting all day.
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  #3860  
Old 08-30-2017, 06:01 AM
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Laptop gave me quite the scare! Had a bit of an anxiety attack for a bit. I was just thinking of my brother finding out and he'd never ever ever let me use the laptop again or use anything that belongs to him. He'd probably also take away The Cure's Join The Dots book/cd and probably never trust me again with anything

I'm okay now though! Heart race is slowing a bit. I just need to stop feeling so dizzy.
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  #3861  
Old 09-02-2017, 09:42 PM
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Felt more like crap than usual and guessing it has to do with the monthly
(sorry if TMI, just the troooth!)
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Old 09-07-2017, 06:08 AM
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Sis woke me up (quite loudly) at around 7am because she forgot her keys and I had to let her in so her son could get ready for school.

Also, the power went out in the morning (at around 11am or something) and I ended up falling asleep and then waking up at 6pm
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  #3863  
Old 09-08-2017, 02:41 PM
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Got up later although I went to bed at a decent time and also feeling very tired.
What sucked yesterday is I had to go to the doctors and get blood work done - my veins are really tiny and hard to find
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  #3864  
Old 09-30-2017, 04:06 PM
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I was listening to Nox Arcana and making album covers of their albums when I was started to notice that it was actually lifting my sadness when I heard Snow White's Evil Queen speaking from the TV. It was this scene. I don't know why but all of a sudden I just started breaking into tears. My mom asked me if I wanted to watch it and all I can utter was a broken "Yeah". I felt like she was staring at me but I didn't care. "Mirror, mirror" was all I needed to hear and the tears started falling. I guess my mom calling me self-centered, an asshole and ungrateful finally caught up with me. I am none of these things :'(

I know in my fucking heart of hearts that I am none of these things! None! But hearing her basically call me these things....it just cuts me to the bone. I know it's horrible of me to say but I just have to deal with today and half of tomorrow. By nightfall, she leaves to my brother's house for the week and I can't fucking wait! As for my sister, I am not going to acknowledge her. Let her slam all the shit she wants, let her glare at me, let her mutter under her breath all the bullshit she wants. I am not gonna give in. I am just going to relax and enjoy this coming week! Even if my sis doesn't talk to me, I'm just gonna relish in being a loner. If my sis is gonna be acting this way (so fragile that everything and anything hurts her feelings so she goes crying to our mom-and she's like 40 years old), I never want to speak or be around her ever again. I fucking mean this! This new look on her does not suit her one bit!

I can't stand my mom and my sister right now. Their very presence is pissing me off! I don't understand how one ounce of annoyance that I showed 2 days ago (my sis saying I was practically naked when I was wearing a top, stuff and stockings) can be blown out of proportions like this!!! I thought everything was going fine! Fuck this. I'm gonna eat some Fruity Pebbles cereal and watch "The Craft". I'm gonna try to ignore the ache and "pins and needles" feeling I get every time my mom is around me. She really hurt me and I really hope that I can get over this.
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  #3865  
Old 10-07-2017, 12:28 PM
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Depression came crashing down and nothing feels okay
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  #3866  
Old 10-11-2017, 09:56 PM
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Sis is being a bitch. She told me to put the towels somewhere else (I had them thrown about on the couch-I wanted to be a little messy for a change *shrugs*) and her tone was veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy bitchy and demanding. It stung a little :/

But whatever! I'm just gonna ignore her and tell myself that it's not me she's angry with. I'm now fully understanding her problems and I will continue treating her like a fragile glass. I am staying the fuck out of her way, not talking to her and listening to music loudly through my earphones (every time she's in my house). It's working out great so far! It's just today that she noticed the towels thrown about on the couch and talked to me in a bitchy way. But I'm over it now.
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  #3867  
Old 10-12-2017, 10:19 PM
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Got frustrated and moody during an overall really great day. And it was all my own fault for not being prepared!
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  #3868  
Old 10-14-2017, 07:37 PM
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I just realized that I have an appointment on the 27th. Fuck, I hope the person doing it is gentle! The last time I did it, weirdly enough, the female was harsh but the male doc was gentle I know I said that the pap smear thing came out normal and good but she wants to make sure I'm healthy so I have to go through an ultrasound thing. Soooooooooo, I gotta drink 3 bottles of water and not urinate until after the procedure. Greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! I'm totally looking forward to it -.-
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