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  #6721  
Old 07-31-2017, 04:16 AM
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Hopefully I can pull off this all-nighter! I have to in order to wake up at 5am on Tuesday. Also, it's official! The appointment is indeed on Tuesday and my sister is going with me and she's going in to tell the Doctor everything that is wrong with me (sometimes I get so nervous and worked up over needles going near my vein, I let some things slip from my mind soooo~!!!! My sis asks me if it's okay for her to go in with me).

If the Dr. asks me really personal things, I'm kicking my sister out. There are some things...family members should not know
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  #6722  
Old 08-01-2017, 01:39 AM
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaand it's not on Tuesday. My brother rescheduled the appointment until Thursday. Apparently, a trans m-t-f (male to female) screams and demands for everything in the waiting room every fucking Tuesday. Sooooooooo, my lovely brother took me into consideration and said "Nope!" and rescheduled. He told my mom that if I were to go and witness that, I'd get even more nervous and scared. So, I'm going Thursday.

I am so relieved that it's not tomorrow. Instead, I'm going shopping (for real!) for my cousin's birthday party in Santa Ana that is on the 19th of August. Also, I couldn't pull off the all-nighter. I got too dizzy and the headache was too much (for all the worrying) that I just had to lie down and sleep. Hopefully, I can pull it off again tonight.
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  #6723  
Old 08-04-2017, 07:25 PM
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How silly it is to get all emotional and worked up over some things :D
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  #6724  
Old 08-06-2017, 04:29 AM
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Thinking of buying some Nox Arcana merch! >:D Earlier, I was blanking out on what to buy but I just remembered that they're coming out with a new and witchy album (released on Halloween! ).

Went through a difficult procedure on Thursday and I just wanna...escape and take my mind off of that. And the shadowy, lovely dark realms of Nox Arcana is the answer!

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  #6725  
Old 08-07-2017, 01:21 AM
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Tomorrow and hoping I can get a decent sleep and feel good and energized. Also looking forward to tomorrow if I can hang out with a certain someone :3
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  #6726  
Old 08-07-2017, 06:20 PM
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Hopefully the lovely things I bought arrive by Thursday or Friday!
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  #6727  
Old 08-08-2017, 10:25 PM
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How nice of a change things have been lately and how much I love it!
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  #6728  
Old 08-10-2017, 03:03 AM
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When the fuck things started to go wrong. Mom is starting to nag at me and my sis is irritating the fuck outta me! My mom (when she tried to get me to talk to her about my depression) mentioned that I'm not like any women my age. I'm "disgusting and lazy". Uhm, okay?

1) I'm alone (besides that bitch and her son popping in throughout the day) in the fucking guest house that I pay $800 for!

2) It's been really hot lately. So, what if I don't have a skirt on? I have the other necessary thing on and my long t shirts (that I cut to make into tank tops) pretty much cover all of me

3) Yes, I haven't swept the floor a couple or few times last month but I do it the next day.

4) Did I mention I was alone in my own house and that it's been terribly hot lately?!?!?

I am not hurting anyone and it's secure to do that. Because....see #1 and #2. As far as I'm concerned, I am not disgusting and lazy. I clean after myself (if I drop something on the floor or spill something on the counter). I wash my hands a whole lot (to the point where it might be considered OCD). I wash the dishes and put them away once they're dried (not lately though because my damn sis has been washing them-I am really surprised and happy that I got to wash them today! ). I sweep the goddamn floor! So, I really don't know where she's getting this "disgusting and lazy" thing from. Maybe she's thinking about the past and she's seriously stuck on that. And was she hoping to hurt me with that statement? Nice try! But ever since she said I was "dead inside" and a "zombie", I really don't think there is anything that she can say anymore that'll shake and affect me just the same.

Now, look at me! >:D Embracing the "zombie" thing and making it my own. What she thought and hoped would hurt me, I turned into something hauntingly beautiful!
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  #6729  
Old 08-11-2017, 09:20 PM
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I wish my last post here was still true. Things have been going pretty good overall lately and now this one stupid thing -.-
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  #6730  
Old 08-12-2017, 03:12 AM
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It went pretty well today (all things considered). Just went and got my blood taken and that was it. Didn't talk to the doc like I wanted but whatever. Hopefully I won't go back next week! I'm so fucking tired. Like, I get it, it's for my own well-being but do I have to go once a week? But enough docs now because I'm fucking tired and I've been worried about them for 2 weeks and I wanna move on. *sighs in frustration* Just thinking about what the hell I'm going to wear tomorrow. Heading to Palmdale for a 2-day stay at my cousin's house. Tomorrow, we're just visiting, chilling and spending the night. Then on Sunday, there's a party for someone.

Then *laughs at how fucking busy August is becoming for me* on the 19th, I'm going to Santa Ana to visit my father's cousin's to celebrate one of their b-day's (as well as my nephew's). I remember when I visited them as a little girl, one of my cousin's daughter's friend was staying over and we always played "Mommy" Like, she'd pretend to get my pregnant, I'd pretend to pop the baby out and then we'd take care of the baby together. She said she was the other "mommy" The next day, she'd be the one that got pregnant and we'd just take turns and lock the door so no one would come in. I remember getting sapphic vibes from her. I ended up giving her my Halloween II (Michael Myers!) VHS and she gave me something but I think I lost it or my mom threw it away by mistake. Hmmmm.

*Snaps out of it* I don't know why but I hope she's still friends with my cousin's daughter and I'll see her I'll wear my Sapphic Musk tank top and my new short, corset-laced skirt with my black/purple striped stockings. Hopefully........I get her number and hopefully she remembers me! Hopefully my Sapphic Musk tank top calls her out and lures her to me Please remember me and please be there! *Crosses fingers!*
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  #6731  
Old 08-12-2017, 01:28 PM
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^ Wishing you luck that you see her again!

Wondering when this cold will go away Can't stand all this coughing and headaches anymore
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  #6732  
Old 08-13-2017, 12:22 AM
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^ thanks! :3 wishing you get over the cough!

Thinking about calling it an early night. Horrible fucking Friday. Couldn't even get in the family pool because the ladder was a little too high and I just couldn't get in. Whatever. Then 10 minutes ago, I hit the cupboard door because I was too busy being nervous and worried about stepping on my cousin's dog that wouldn't fucking move!!!!!!!! I only ate 3 slices of pizza. I'm not really hungry Anymore. I just wanna go to sleep, get tomorrow fucking over with and go back home :'(
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  #6733  
Old 08-18-2017, 03:11 AM
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Sometimes I really love seeing my old posts randomly when I view old threads....
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  #6734  
Old 08-18-2017, 01:06 PM
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how sad today is, maybe it's part of the reason why I felt weird when I woke up. I dunno but it's a sad day
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  #6735  
Old 08-18-2017, 08:52 PM
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I'm TRYING to think of anything but that.

It's not working.
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