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  #6796  
Old 05-06-2019, 09:10 AM
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Plague Kitty Plague Kitty is offline
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Soooooooooooooooooo! I got dragged to a bachelorette party last Saturday. It was pretty tame from what I had imagined. It honestly felt more like any other ordinary family gathering except with dick-shaped food/straw/Gulp-style cup things around and 2 blow-up dolls. God, even typing it sounds weird. Now imagine being around family with that sort of stuff. To me, personally, I don't think a party like that should be with family. Sitting at a table, with your own family sitting ACROSS from you and having a paper cup with a dick straw and a dick pretzel on a plate......it's like no thanks.

Now, had there not be family members present and I didn't live with my mom, I would have taken those 2 straws home. Why? Because. They. Were. PURPLE and BLACK! :D

But anyway, I mostly kept to myself. I occasionally looked at people but spent 2 hours just staring at my nails. If only I painted them and added glitter, I would have been somewhat entertained They played a few games and made obscene gestures and comments (some made me laugh and some made me wish the ground beneath me opened up and I just fell in). Other than that, it was just okay. I honestly wished I stayed home instead. I would have accomplished more and had loads of fun (like doing my usual sweeping of the floors, washing the dishes, putting them away once they've dried to new things I'm doing like dancing like Missy from Bring It On, twirling around like I'm in some ballroom, air-guitaring, air-drumming and lip-syncing ) But at least now I can say that I actually intended a bachelorette party so that's cool, I guess?

In the end, even if I didn't enjoy 99% of Saturday, at least I treated myself with 2 online purchases yesterday morning!
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  #6797  
Old 05-14-2019, 01:19 AM
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I can't decide if today is amazing or horrible.
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  #6798  
Old 05-28-2019, 06:59 AM
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Since I wrote about the bachelorette party, it makes sense to write about the wedding *shrugs*

At the ceremony, I started tearing up because I remembered a dream I had (some woman named Belle Melody-who was emotionally unavailable, according to her stepmom-hugged me and asked me to marry her). After that, we were taken to their neighbor's garden where there was a gazebo. The photographer told us to "just be ourselves!" and so I kept my sunglasses because I wanted to channel/conjure up Vampira and Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark. The photographer told me to take off my sunglasses. While understanding WHY he said that, I still think he should have said "Be yourself but take off your sunglasses though". That way, I could've stopped wracking my brain for facial expressions made by Vampira and Elvira. Once he was done taking pics and while I walked away, I heard him say "Some people just don't wanna take their sunglasses off!". I wanted to argue with him that I was trying to model after Vampira and Elvira but I thought better of it and just laughed.

Went back to the party and waited 3 hrs for the food to arrive. They brought out a clamato shrimp soup as an appetizer. I've never ate it or knew of its existence before. I had a sample from my mom's bowl but didn't like it. I specifically said that I didn't want any but my sister still put a bowl in front of me. I noticed that my cousin was looking at me, silently judging me. Giving me that "You better eat it if you know what's good for you!" stare. So! Out of fucking respect and not wanting to seem spoiled, I ate the damn thing. Because that's the type of person that I am.

After that, I ate rice and beans and felt bloated about halfway. Um, I haven't really been eating the 3-ish weeks of May. I mean, I've eaten but not the point of feeling full. So, I forgot what feeling full felt like so I mistook "Full" for "Bloated". 2 hours later, they called up families to take pics with the husband and bride again (it wasn't the guy that treated me like shit, it was his daughter-who kept occasionally staring at me O.o Probably worrying if I was going to punch her in the face or cast a spell on her. Or both! ). I just stood, out of place, awkwardly smiling. An hour later, the bride's husband took off her garter. Anyway, all the single ladies got up to try to catch the flower thing. My sister called my name and I had to get up. I took off my dark purple Bella Lune hairflower juuust in case someone tries to snatch it off of me or something. While waiting, I kept bumping into this gorgeous woman in a leather jacket, mini skirt, boots, short hair and choker. I wanted to talk to her but something gave me the impression not to so I didn't. I went back to my table and my hairflower was gone. I didn't have the energy to ask around plus I could get the same one in July once the seller on Etsy returns from vacation. It's totally cool.

Once the part where you have to dance with the bride/husband, I started feeling not alright And I don't mean from anxiety. I got food poisoning. I was stuck inside the bathroom suffering for about half an hour. People kept knocking and calling out. I yelled my reply but they couldn't hear me due to the music. Someone actually broke in with a butter knife. I freaked out. They freaked out, closed the door and re-locked it. The person that owned the house had to basically tell me to go into her bedroom/bathroom and stay in there until it's over. So, people can't panic or be impatient. She gave me some Pepto B. for my stomach and left me alone. Around 11:40 something, it calmed down so I went into the living room. The bride started bumping her hips against my legs. I looked away and started tearing up. Everything from earlier (feeling like a loner, misfit) plus the food poisoning and missing out on the rest of the party all just.....washed over me and it was all too much. Plus, I didn't want my cousin to be dancing on me. I wanted it to be a non-family member and without family members around me and not be suffering with food poisoning. Anyway, the bride then held me and told me that were was nothing to be embarrassed and sorry about. The bride's husband told me a joke. "When you gotta go, you gotta go, right?". That made me laugh for a second. I had to leave the party early. Back at my mom's brother's house, he gave me 3 blue pills to take. I took them. Ended up suffering once more and then went to sleep once I was dead-fucking-certain that it was all over. And it was And oh, my mom handed me my phone to charge. I barely remember charging it. I was too wrapped up in worrying about 'it' happening again but thankfully, it didn't and I was able to sleep through the night. Woke up at 9am.

Sunday night and back home in Los Angeles, I found out through my mom that everybody was rushing about, wondering what happened in the bathroom and who was in it. My mom told me she was looking for me and was fearing the absolute worst like me being murdered silently or having that-that-shall-not-be-named done to me. She watches the news a whole lot. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah :/ Then while I was crying, she thought people thought I was drunk. In other words, she was basically telling me that she was embarrassed. Which is funny because I didn't even care or notice that there were people around. All I cared about was my cousin. The bride. Not about my lost hairflower, my sunglasses, MY FUCKING PHONE (yeah o.o) or my sweater (my sister took it after I left it in the bathroom. She saved my sunglasses too. My mom got my phone but they couldn't find my hairflower).

Yesterday, my mom started to treat me very coldly. Like I've personally spit in her coffee or something. Whatever, I've decided to just take care of myself, focus on creative stuff (coloring or digital art) and not talk to her until she talks to me like a caring person again. Fuck, if anyone should be pissed off, it should be me for my mom and sis forcing that soup on me! I spent all Saturday worrying about other people (and about....food poisoning. It was the clamato shrimp soup that totally fucked me over) that I think I should turn the attention to myself for a whole week or two or three. There better not be another party for at least 2 months! I swear if there's another one coming up......there will be hell to pay for all involved! I'll probably just not go or be spoiled and not eat that person's food at the party. If people think I'm spoiled if they see me with a burger wrapper and french fries, let them. They don't know what it's like to have food poisoning at someone's party and then have to leave early while fucking crying, clearly sober and with an old woman's sweater wrapped around you and still have self-respect in-tact. It's tough!!!!!!
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  #6799  
Old 06-02-2019, 07:50 AM
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I hope she'll be better tomorrow. I'm legitimately worried.
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  #6800  
Old 06-09-2019, 02:07 PM
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It was hot yesterday so I was lounging on the sofa seat where the AC is and my nephew comes in saying that I scared him. When I asked him why he said that, he replied that it was because he was used to seeing me always on the bed. Soooooo! It got me thinking that maybe I should change up my "dwellings" Lounge somewhere else.



Also thinking that I should change up the color schemes in my coloring pages. I've been using light pink, splashes of teal here and there, lavender, magenta and purple. Been using those fucking colors for a long time and I think I should use other colors now. Take a much-needed break from The Birthday Massacre-y colors and use other inspirations from other artists. Which is precisely why I bought the 2 dark fairytale art books by Camille Rose Garcia. I already had her Alice In Wonderland book (which is besides my bed). I just needed Snow White and Cinderella. Which are on their way to me right now



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Old 07-20-2019, 04:52 AM
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Taking a very careful consideration of possibly buying Roniit's poetry/photo book. I could easily save up and afford it. It's being released in October.

https://www.roniit.com/product/photo...ok-cd-download

My mom has no problems with it. Absolutely none. I talked with her about it a few days ago. She's told me that she can see the changes I've gone through since mid-Feb 'til now. She's noticing how I don't come out of the bathroom after taking a shower frowning, touching my overbite (or is it underbite?) chin. She knew ab the way I used to view myself as ugly. Instead, I smile, caressing the side of my face (making sure my face is properly applied with lotion). She knows it's Roniit's direct influence.

Ahem! I may or may not have bragged about Roniit to my mom. Always asking her if she can name the flowers in the Visceral music video so I can go out and buy and fill the house was them. I may or may not have asked my mom if she can throw away the old furniture so I can buy a new sofa, throw pillows, candles, a coffee table, beautiful curtains, maybe some string lights, new cups, bowls, plates. You know, pretty things like that
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