The Birthday Massacre Board The Birthday Massacre Board

Go Back   The Birthday Massacre Board > More Topics > Artist's Corner

Artist's Corner Share your artwork, poetry or anything artistic.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-20-2008, 04:57 AM
Ang Ang is offline
Violet
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Posts: 15
Send a message via AIM to Ang Send a message via Yahoo to Ang
Default Poetry Thread.

I agree with Hell's Angi.


This one was written during my downward spiral (hence the emo-ness of it all). I had just gone through a messy breakup, and found a new love: hard drugs. My job wasn't going so well either, due to hungover sick-calls.

Kind of cliche.

I've spent these years sculpting this ambitious being
Perfection felt close, but was far from achieved
Like a child unhanded in a museum of glass
Performing obnoxious, destructive acts
It took one for all to fall.


Glad I got out of that one!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-20-2008, 01:44 PM
Hell's Angi's Avatar
Hell's Angi Hell's Angi is offline
Video Kid
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 3,035
Default

I really like yours :D

Here's one of mine, or actually the only real poem I ever wrote. I usually write other stuff.
As you can easily tell the main topic in this is leaving, but it got a new meaning for me about 6 months or a year after it was written, when someone I knew died and i suddenly got this totally new impression of the poem.
it's pretty dilettante lol

Farewell

I'd rather be
leaving thee
easily

Without a word
to be heard
won't get hurt

But for all those
who once chose
to get close

One simple spell
I will tell
called 'farewell'
__________________

No more girl next door, actions with no remorse. ~ Ayria


^ Part of the zero bullshit tolerance policy.

Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-09-2008, 06:57 PM
Clear Vision's Avatar
Clear Vision Clear Vision is offline
Oh My Cod!
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Piñata Abattoir
Posts: 7,275
Send a message via Skype™ to Clear Vision
Post

My first post on the forum, so lets hope that everything just works out fine.

I really like both your poems. It's hard to make poems that sound so close to what you feel.

I'm writing poetry for about 2 years now, but most of the poems are Dutch. I've writen some small poems in English. The poem is called "though wanderers eyes" and is divided in 4 smaller parts



Through Wanderers Eyes


The Night
The sun has left and the night has awaken
Guarding an abandoned child in the dark
A child with a message by his mother forsaken
And neither was there place for him at the ark
The darkest nights are yet to come
As the clouds cover the entire sky
The rain will fall which he can’t hide from
He wonders: will my soaked soul ever dry?
As he’s looking through the wanderers eye

The Moon
The pearl of the night, a silent witness
Of the world beyond imagination
Illuming those in the blackest dress
Trying to avoid permanent desolation
Coming together as the ritual starts
Bringing chaos and devastation
Aiming for those with weaker hearts
With a magic spell fulfilling their creation

The Sea
As my tears falling left a stain
Overwhelmed by an tidal wave
Flushed my emotions down the drain
Set course to their own grave
Diluted, my soul will no longer be
Rejected by emotions undetected
As I look in the water, as emptiness I see
Cause my soul is no longer reflected

The Winter
Stuck in the desert of ice and snow
No one directing me where to go
My vessels run cold and I cannot speak
But I still haven’t found for what I seek
Winter night, Show me your might
I won’t pass out in search of the light
I’ll fight cause I refuse to run and hide
I’m stuck in this endless, winter night

I don't know if you like it, but I;m happy with the result
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-20-2008, 01:17 PM
MIRAI87 MIRAI87 is offline
Violet
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Macomb, MI
Posts: 58
Send a message via AIM to MIRAI87
Default

That's cool that you can write in more than one language. I wish I could do that, as there's been times I wish I could sing a song in german or japanese or spanish. Anyway- I do a lot of song writing and this is one of my favorites.

Crescent Waltz

It should be me…
It should be me…

Drained of plasma I drift eternal…
Alone I spin among starry nights…
Discontent in my isolation,
In envy of the sphere you serve.

It should be me…
It should be me…
Why do you lead this waltz?
It should be me…
It should be me…

Drained of solace I turn in silence…

I’ve composed a waltz for you,
To share with you my agony…
For you to know the price I pay
To live beneath your gravity.
Through pain and distance, my bitter exchange,
I wander lonely while you brim with life…
I wander lonely while I am your slave.
I cannot look away.
I cannot...

It should be me…
It should be me…
Why do you lead,
Lead this waltz…?


If you'd like to hear the song it is recorded.
PM me or respond here and I can show it to you.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-20-2008, 03:49 PM
Clear Vision's Avatar
Clear Vision Clear Vision is offline
Oh My Cod!
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Piñata Abattoir
Posts: 7,275
Send a message via Skype™ to Clear Vision
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MIRAI87 View Post
That's cool that you can write in more than one language.

Wel that isn't so strange for me. Dutch is my own language and English is one of the most important languages in the world so we're taught to learn English on school. Maybe it's nice to post a Dutch poem of me (with an English translation) It doesn't rhyme anymore when translated and there may be some mistakes but here it goes. I'm not certain about the translation of evenbeeld = spitting image


Wij Zijn

De zon werpt een schaduw over het leven.
En niets is, zonder iets te zijn,
voor het oog, de zonneschijn
een rede het een schaduw te geven

Door te zijn heeft alles al invloed.
De lucht die je adem vraagt,
schaduw, die jouw lichaam draagt,
wanneer straten opklaren in ochtendgloed

Zoals wij zijn, zijn wij veroordeeld
tot acceptatie van ons evenbeeld.

Sterfelijke wezens met onsterfelijk verlangen
Waarom willen we, wat we nooit kunnen bevangen,
En wat we kunnen, door iets anders vervangen?

Wij zijn gevleugelde harten, kijkend vol afgunst,
maar zeker ook met bewondering voor de kunst,
naar een vis die zwemt in het water



We are

The sun brings a shadow to this life.
And nothing is, without being something,
for the eye, the sunshine
a reason to give it a shadow

Just by being, everything will be influenced.
the air, which is asking your breath
the shadow, who's wearing your body
when streets clear up in morninglight

Like we are, we are convicted
to accept our own spitting image

mortal beings, with immortal desire.
why do we want what we can't overcome
and how can we change what we can in what we want

We are like winged hearts, looking jealously
but also admiration for the art
looking at a fish, swimming in the water
__________________


Last edited by Clear Vision; 08-28-2011 at 12:40 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-20-2008, 03:50 PM
xrayqueen's Avatar
xrayqueen xrayqueen is offline
Mother of Unicorns
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Brick Shithouse,Germany
Posts: 7,400
Send a message via Skype™ to xrayqueen
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MIRAI87 View Post
That's cool that you can write in more than one language. I wish I could do that, as there's been times I wish I could sing a song in german or japanese or spanish. Anyway- I do a lot of song writing and this is one of my favorites.

Crescent Waltz

It should be me…
It should be me…

Drained of plasma I drift eternal…
Alone I spin among starry nights…
Discontent in my isolation,
In envy of the sphere you serve.

It should be me…
It should be me…
Why do you lead this waltz?
It should be me…
It should be me…

Drained of solace I turn in silence…

I’ve composed a waltz for you,
To share with you my agony…
For you to know the price I pay
To live beneath your gravity.
Through pain and distance, my bitter exchange,
I wander lonely while you brim with life…
I wander lonely while I am your slave.
I cannot look away.
I cannot...

It should be me…
It should be me…
Why do you lead,
Lead this waltz…?


If you'd like to hear the song it is recorded.
PM me or respond here and I can show it to you.

Wow,those lyrics are amazing. I really like them,I kinda feel with the me in them I want to hear it!!!
__________________
You can hide in the night while I'm waiting here, all alone


Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-21-2008, 12:21 AM
MIRAI87 MIRAI87 is offline
Violet
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Macomb, MI
Posts: 58
Send a message via AIM to MIRAI87
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clear Vision View Post
Wel that isn't so strange for me. Dutch is my own language and English is one of the most important languages in the world so we're taught to learn English on school. Maybe it's nice to post a Dutch poem of me (with an English translation) It doesn't rhyme anymore when translated and there may be some mistakes but here it goes. I'm not certain about the translation of evenbeeld = spitting image
I don't know if there were mistakes, but your poem is beautiful even in english.

Quote:
Originally Posted by xrayqueen View Post
Wow,those lyrics are amazing. I really like them,I kinda feel with the me in them I want to hear it!!!
I'm uploading it to a Yousendit.com site. I'll PM you the link. It's the first track on our full length CD : )

If anyone is interested in hearing/reading more, I can arrange that.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-21-2008, 07:49 AM
Aesea Neassa Aesea Neassa is offline
Black
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Dayton,Ohio
Posts: 417
Default

Thank you guys for posting your poetry/lyrics. There are some incredible lines/words you've written there! I especially love lyrics and write some of my own,but they are not nearly as good as these that you have posted. I'd enjoy reading even more...
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-22-2008, 12:19 PM
MIRAI87 MIRAI87 is offline
Violet
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Macomb, MI
Posts: 58
Send a message via AIM to MIRAI87
Default

Here's another then.

Spearhead

My armor that keeps me In binding and hiding
Does not defend from The spearheads I fear
As the crystallized spores Of my anger do shatter
And scatter to where They shall do the most damage.

(Chorus)
You prey on esteem That your spearhead so ravaged,
To feed your libido So vicious and savage.
Sunken and hammered, Your spearhead has spoken,
My trust into question My armor’s been broken.

A boa that constricts me
Made of hair and shards of glass
Wraps around my neck,
As an emblem of your cruelty
The knife of your decision
Made of scrap metal and severed tongues
Has brought me to this captive state
And cuffed these thoughts inside my head.

You brought the moles
That dig in me
That try to steal my buried treasure
You filled your filth
You spilled your scent
In the idol that I’d created.

The catacombs murmur...
"A life of misdeed
Breeds more misdeed."

I have...
I have scorn you, stupid mole.
I have scorn you down to hell.

(Chorus)

You brought the moles
You filled your filth
That try to steal my buried treasure.
You dug in me
You spilled your scent
You dirty mole you have destroyed me.

---
This song is available for listening on our myspace.
myspace.com/miraimusic
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-22-2008, 01:37 PM
Clear Vision's Avatar
Clear Vision Clear Vision is offline
Oh My Cod!
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Piñata Abattoir
Posts: 7,275
Send a message via Skype™ to Clear Vision
Default

A really great job you did Mirai87. I really like spearhead, both the song and the lyrics. I don't know if it was the intention but it kind of remembered me of an old school arcade hall with a wack-the-mole game. The game where moles keep popping out of the ground and you have to smash them down. Keep the good work up.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 05-22-2008, 01:41 PM
MIRAI87 MIRAI87 is offline
Violet
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Macomb, MI
Posts: 58
Send a message via AIM to MIRAI87
Default

I really like that interpretation. I can see what you're saying now that you've put the thought there! Thank you!

Last edited by MIRAI87; 05-22-2008 at 02:00 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 05-22-2008, 01:55 PM
Aesea Neassa Aesea Neassa is offline
Black
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Dayton,Ohio
Posts: 417
Default

Mira,I love your writing style. I'm going to listen to you song right now! Thank you for posting again!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 05-22-2008, 02:00 PM
MIRAI87 MIRAI87 is offline
Violet
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Macomb, MI
Posts: 58
Send a message via AIM to MIRAI87
Default

Thank you so much for listening. I'm glad you like it! Let me know what you think of the song.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 05-26-2008, 11:43 AM
xrayqueen's Avatar
xrayqueen xrayqueen is offline
Mother of Unicorns
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Brick Shithouse,Germany
Posts: 7,400
Send a message via Skype™ to xrayqueen
Default

I guess I will never be that good in writing poems like a few guys here.English is not my mother tongue so I guess I write mistakes sometimes.Well,here you go :

Little and soft
you take so much out of me
do you still think
I'm tall and strong?
Broken pieces can't be fixed immediatly
time is what I need
when you don't understand
you don't understand me
the one you want to own

I cannot love
I cannot hate
my nerves are stampeded
I don't know who I am,
who I want to be

My smiles carry hope
my hugs show loneliness
my tears are precious
my thoughts change to suicide

My eyes are closed
I try to shout
I try to cry
tell me
where is your love for me?



Idk why but they always turn out so depressing lol
__________________
You can hide in the night while I'm waiting here, all alone


Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 05-26-2008, 11:52 AM
Clear Vision's Avatar
Clear Vision Clear Vision is offline
Oh My Cod!
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Piñata Abattoir
Posts: 7,275
Send a message via Skype™ to Clear Vision
Default

I think it's a great poem xrayqueen.
Firts of all it's a poem, so there aren't any rules
you can do what you like and it's never a bad poem
and I can see that your poem reflects a part of your soul, so I don't see any point why this poem isn't good.
__________________

Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:11 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.